Presentation Feedback

Dear Group members,

Please review my presentation and use the critique sheet Dr. Archibald has provided to give me feedback so that I can improve the presentation.

Conference Notes

I thought my first 5 pages were well thought out and up to the standards for this research paper.  He wants me to narrow it down to one specific industry instead of just talking about all CEOs; I knew he wanted this by reading his comments on my first five pages.  So I went in thinking that I wanted that industry to be healthcare CEOs because I knew there was a woman CEO for Capital Blue Cross since my mom works there, this women CEO resigned and now there is a man CEO.  During my conference with Dr. Archibald, I got many new ideas to add and to change for my research paper.  In my first paragraph he wants me to give specific examples of the rights women have instead of just naming them and connect it to the women’s movement.  It is going to turn out to be a timeline of examples when these rights were claimed and then end with women are still looking for the equality when it comes to business and being economically equal.  Also, he wants me to research specific points for this new topic.  These points are what is holding women back, is the healthcare industry a success for women, and why can’t this happen in other industries.  I need basic fact as well like salary, compensation, promotions to explain where I want to go with this topic. In the end, I will explain with levels I created that will help women have success in this position.  What I plan to do now is do more research on these specific points and rearrange my paper to follow my new topic of healthcare CEOs.         

Sources for the 3ResProj

All of the sources I have found for my research paper will come in great use to argue the main points I want to focus on. The first thing I did for this research process was just searching my main points, which are the salary differences of men and women CEOs and why men are chosen in the workforce over women. Also, I searched reasons why women might be beneficial to a company. For the salary difference point I found many different sites with a lot of different numbers, but I tried to look for at the more up to date pages. It was cool to see though how the salaries of CEOs have changed over time, but not to see that women are still getting paid less. Then I looked up reasons men are chosen more often than men in occupation spots like a CEO. I found many reasons why workers would rather have men over women in a leadership spot. Most of the sites said that women are more emotional, catty, moody, etc. After finding that, I found reasons why women should be in charge to argue that last point I searched about. I did find many facts and professional opinions that showed the women leaders (CEOs) would be more beneficial to their company. I agree with most of the facts that I have found and they do make really good points. All of these sources I have found except for maybe two or three are important to my paper. The ones that I am going to use give a good amount of information that will help my paper have as much as it can to argue my main points. Then, the other ones that I do not really want to use have little information to help my paper. Also, some of them are out of date and for my one document I used for my synthesis paper, there is no information referring to my topic. I feel that I have enough information to get my point across and make this paper a good argument research paper. 

Conference Notes

Going into the conference I thought my proposal was well thought out because I followed the blog where he explained everything. Also, I had good points and ideas to help my argument for my research project. The ideas I got from talking to Dr. Archibald in my conference was to first narrow down my topic again. My topic overall is Women’s Issues and I was originally going to talk about women’s rights with Business, how they are still not equal in that area. In the conference, Dr. Archibald told me to narrow it down to one industry. After we thought about certain occupations I could consider as my new topic, I chose women as CEOs. I got a lot of new ideas to work with, which are salary of CEOs, the position (why can’t women be in charge, why do people think they can’t), and ideas about what women would bring that is different to men in that same position. I plan to do more research about this topic and find some more ideas before I start the paper. Also, I am excited to find out more about the position of being a CEO and argue why women can be in charge for this occupation.

ResProj Paper Ideas

 “Mott gave many reasons why men and women should be equal and her beliefs on this issue. More than a century later, in 1995, Cynthia Gorney conducted an interview with Gloria Steinem. This document showed a brief amount of what Steinem’s thoughts were on topics of women’s issues of that time.”

-For this quote, I could maybe go back in to both documents and see if they stated any thoughts about job statuses between men and women since they said many things about why men and women should be equal in the first place.

“After comparing the two ideas of what these women had to deal with shows how this issue has improved over time with the help of strong feminists, but these women of today’s time are still working for this equality.”

-The issue has improved, but there are still some points that are different between men and women. I can say the ways women still do not have equal rights, so in this case for my paper, the way women are unequal when it comes to business, and then name how they are working for these rights today.

After reading these quotes from my 2Syn paper what do you think about these topic ideas? Do you understand what I am getting at? Which one sounds best to use for the 3ResProj? Why?

Integrating Sources

Example 1

As Mott believes, “ there is nothing greater importance to the well-being of society at large—of man as well as women—than the true and proper position of a women” (Mott 1).  This confession is a clear indication that Mott wants there to be equality between men and women.

Example 2

One statement stuck out when Steinem stated when she asked about her future.  She emphasizes, “if we want a world in which you can tell jokes and get massages and have sex and dress however you fucking well please, then we have to create a form of activism that reflects that, and have fun while we’re doing it”(Steinem 3).  For Mott's era, this is too bold of a statement if Mott would have said this.  The most observant critic would not be fine with hearing a woman of the 19^th century saying this.

Works Cited

Mott, Lucretia. “Discourse on Woman.” Votes for Women: Selections from the National

American Woman Suffrage Association Collection, 1848-1921. American Memory. 17

Dec.1849.<http://memory.loc.gov/cgi-bin/query/r?ammem/nawbib:@field(NUMBER+@band(rbnawsa+n2748)):>.

Gorney, Cynthia. "Gloria." Mother Jones. N.p., Nov/Dec. 1995. Web.  

               <http://motherjones.com/politics/1995/11/gloria>.

First Paragraph of My 2Syn Paper

Women tend to be strong hearted when they are passionate about an important topic in need of help.  Anyone would be to try to change a certain issue of concern.  Some women’s thoughts about an issue could have similar ideas between, but there will also always be differences in opinions and feelings between everyone.  The conversation about women's rights has been going on for a long time.  In Lucretia Mott’s lecture called Discourse on Woman and the interview on Gloria Steinem are examples of these similarities and differences on this issue.  Both of these women are well-known feminists in their own time era.  Mott in her document, which was given in the year of 1849, states powerful ideas and her thoughts on equality.  She gave many reasons why men and women should be equal and her beliefs on this issue.  More then a century later, in 1995, Cynthia Gorney had an interview with Gloria Steinem.  This document showed a brief amount of what Gloria’s thoughts were on topics of women’s issues of that time.  There is more in this interview about other topics about Gloria and her life, but with this background on her, it showed some of her personality and ways she went about changing women’s rights.  (if you are wondering, my thesis is in the next paragraph because the first one is long)

After reading this first paragraph what do you think my paper is about?

What is a Synthesis?

            Synthesis means putting ideas from many sources together.  Our tasks as writers is to find as much information as you can for your topic, which you pick first, and look through it all to determine and support what you will write about.  Basically, you have to synthesize the information and make what arguments you wake to make and an overall general question for the paper.  Remind yourself that a synthesis is not a summary, a comparison or a review.  Also, learning to write a synthesis paper is a critical skill, crucial to organizing and presenting information is academic and non-academic settings. 

            The first step to writing a synthesis paper is choosing a topic.  For example, comparing this to my synthesis paper my topic is Women’s Issues.  Next, you develop a thesis with an outline of ideas you developed.  To make my thesis I already had the sources or texts to work with, which is the third step, to identify them.  My two documents were what I used for this paper.  They were Lucretia Mott’s Discourse on Woman and the interview on Gloria Steinem.  Then you have to read over those two main sources and summarize the main ideas and the overall document.  Analyze your sources to identify the similarities and difference between them.  In both of my documents, it was pretty easy to group together the comparisons together.  An example of a difference for my documents was the time eras which they were based in.  Assemble the generalizations and focus on the ideas.  Also, a rule, which is highly recommended, is to use direct quotes.  In my paper, I had a quote in every paragraph helping to furthermore explain the ideas.  Lastly, for your conclusion you should summarize your main ideas and the questions you proposed.  My conclusion was just an overall summary of the differences and similarities, but then how both topics had a similar topic in the end.

Political Economy and Social Movements: Race, Class and Gender.

http://archives.evergreen.edu/webpages/curricular/2001-2002/poliecon2001/synthesis.htm

(did not give date or author, so I did my best on citation)

Insights From Reading the New Document

The interview on Gloria Steinem was interesting. Some of the things she said were surprising to me and I was not really expecting them. Most of her statements in this interview were too bold and I could not see Lucretia Mott having statements like hers. She seems to be an outgoing woman. From the interview, it informed me more about Gloria then her actual views on feminism and other issues. Once I do more research on her instead of just having this interview, I think it will help me make a better connection between the two documents I have. Even though it was not the most informative piece of information, I still got a start I needed to compare these two documents.

Gloria Steinem is very outspoken and they way she speaks; you can tell she is set in her ways. She seems to be one of those people who tell the honest truth all the time. There is nothing wrong with that because I think most people want that type of truth. In Lucretia Mott’s document, I imagined her to be soft spoken and well educated to get her points across. Mott had to be conservative and very professional, not saying Gloria isn’t, but if Mott would be this way she would not have been taken seriously. Also, Mott had to make the best of all the times she could speak out about these issues since women had limited rights back then. Another reason these women seem to be different is because of probably being brought up different families with its own challenges and in different time eras.

Issues that were brought up in both documents were voting and elections, they both traveled to speak out about their important issues, and the equality of men and women. The main debate mentioned in Gloria’s interview was the feminist world has divided into “equity” feminism vs. “difference” feminism--about whether women are to treated like men or as different from men. The issues for Mott, which she was most interested in, were the quality of men and women and abolition of slavery.

I am excited to read more about Gloria Steinem. Also, to get started with this paper, and make connections because both of these women are very interesting. 

Revising the 1 Report

After posting my first rough draft of the #1 Report, I thought I did well on this paper and was only going to have to do only a few revisions. Well, that was not the case. My preliminary score was to redo it. I was a little disappointed in myself and when I saw this. Only one of my paragraphs referred to the document. My paper only concerns the lecture document in the brief 2nd paragraph. The rest of the piece is about Mott and the women's movement. The paper was 90 percent about Mott and ten percent on the document. It needed to be a report on the document and the ideas you got from the document and then references have to be made to the document throughout the paper. The references to Mott have to be keyed to helping your readers understand the document. I thought it was to be more about what Lucretia Mott did for Women’s issues and her ideas to help this topic. I did not realize that the whole paper had to about a document Lucretia Mott wrote or said and then relate it to ideas she had and to her biography.

To fully understand it and to correctly revise my report, I went back and read the course blog about the assignment and read some of the sample papers to try to get a new idea to begin writing this paper again. I kept my intro and I did not delete everything from my first rough draft. Most of the information I already had I can kept, but I just had to relate it to the lecture. Basically, I needed to refer to the document a lot and throughout my paper. Also, I asked some questions that I could answer by reading her lecture. I did some further research to help connect the ideas from the lecture to her bio and make it easier for the readers of this paper to better understand the lecture Mott made and what kind of women she was.

Overall, I believe that I corrected this paper right and went about revising it with proper ways to make this a better paper. Also, I connected it more to the document throughout. Now I know by making this mistake, I know next time I have to fully understand what we have to do and just doing it correctly, so I will not have to right it over again.

They Say/I Say--response 1

 

After reading Part One of They Say/I Say, the exercise that interested me the most is The Art of Summarizing under the title of “Her Point Is”. In this exercise, they state that a general rule to a good summary is to have balance with what the original author is saying with the writer’s own focus. So basically, this means to take all the information needed for the summary of a specific topic, for example, internet sources, and staying true to the author’s points and while also emphasizing the points that interest the writer the most.

For my topic of Women’s Issues and the feminist Lucretia Mott, I obtained many different sources with all types of different views and specific facts. I took all this information and stayed true to what these sources had to offer. These sources were legitimate, so I had no problem using them in my report. Also, many of the points and facts interested me. I wouldn’t have chose Women’s Issues as my topic if it didn’t. Emphasizing the points was easy for me since I agreed with what Lucretia Mott was trying to achieve. Since I am a woman, it made me agree more with most of the ways Mott went along with dealing with these issues. A specific way I emphasized these points was by listing words that I believed that Lucretia Mott showed with her fight and passion. Basically, that was common sense after reading about what she did.

Another way to write a good summary is to play the “believing game” in which you try to inhabit the worldview of a topic and put yourself in a disagreement state of mind and see their perspective. Readers should not be able to tell if you, the writer, disagree or not. I believe I did not do well at this summarizing point. It is hard for women to disagree with another woman’s fight, who is trying to gain appropriate rights for all women in her time period. This fact is basically impossible for this topic.

Satirically summarizing is one other way of summarizing. This summarizing is defined as a writer deliberately giving his or her own spin to someone’s argument in order to reveal a glaring shortcoming of it. Also, it allows the writer to put more of their independent interests into the summary. My way of the satiric mode is when I put my own thoughts and feelings of what Lucretia Mott was all about. I admire all of her hard work she did for women’s rights and slavery. Throughout my report, I let this fact be known by saying what I thought about her.

One last summarizing point is use signal verbs that fit the action. The rule is to try to stay away from using “she says”, “he says”, or “they believe” when using a quote. They recommend you use signal and precise words as often as possible. Also, they say your text will be livelier and more accurate if you tailor your words to suit the actions you are describing. When using the quotes in my report, I first explained why I chose them to support my text and why Lucretia Mott spoke them. In the end, all the quotes tied in well with explaining the topic.

Overall, this is the exercise that interested me the most and tied in the best with my topic Women’s Issues. Also, I learned different ways of summarizing. I will keep them in mind when writing my next paper.

Blog #1

          My topic for this paper is women’s issues.  I chose this for my topic because it interested me the most.  Reasons it interests me are learning about what some particular women did for their equal rights.  Also, to see how much women worked and fought for what they believed in.  This fight should be inspiring for many women in the 19th century and present time.  Since these women achieved these rights, it makes life easier today for women to be able to do whatever we wanted to do and to follow our dreams.  Some of the rights could be to go to school, the right to vote, to have employment options, and play sports without discrimination of being a woman.  If it weren’t for them, we would not have as many equal rights, and life would be much less enjoyable.

            The woman I am researching who relates to my overall topic of women’s issues is Lucretia Mott.  I started locating my information by first just searching her name to learn some of her biography.  Also, I looked up what she did to be involved with women’s rights and her importance with them.  Once I started reading my sources, Lucretia Mott not only fought for women’s rights, she also spoke for the abolition of slavery. Mott was more able to hold conventions and have societies for women rights because the anti-slavery organizations would not admit women as members.  Lucretia Mott and fellow women activists held many conventions and meetings to address women’s rights.  She was elected as the first president of the American Equal Rights Convention and strived for women’s suffrage and black male suffrage.  Her main beliefs overall were peace and equality. 

            When using the library search, the first detail I search was Lucretia Mott and many books came up about conventions she held for women’s rights. Also, some books about her background. 

www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/USAWmott.htm
www.lucidcafe.com/library/96jan/mott.html